A 34-year-old Winchester resident is facing art cruelty charges after firefighters were unable to rescue a dog painting locked inside the hot car.  Emergency crews responded at approximately 2:37 pm to a report of a dog painting trapped inside of a vehicle outside of Woodland Park.

The value of the piece had depreciated, but was described by police as the work of famed soccer-mom artist Minnie van Gogh. Eventually, firefighters gained entry to the vehicle and tried to cool the canvas with their hose, effectively ruining the painting since it was an oil painting, and oil and water don’t mix.

The dog painting’s owner, identified as Christie York of Winchester was arrested and charged with felony animal art cruelty, according to Police. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animal Art say it only takes six minutes in a hot car for a painting of an animal to succumb to the heat. “It was my ex-husband’s weekend to watch the art, this is all his fault,” Christie explained.

“I just don’t understand why they had to break my window,” Christie complained. Dan Jackson, owner of the Jackson Potluck food truck shot back “I don’t understand how someone could show such a lack of appreciation for a living work of art.” Sal of Salvador’s Deli summarized the whole thing by saying “it was just all so surreal.”

All good things must come to an end. All mediocre things must also come to an end, and Sunday saw the end of the Richmond Road Applebee’s location, as the restaurant held its closing ceremony.

As is tradition, the ceremony featured the extinguishing of the Applebee’s flame grill by line cook Kevin, as well as a flamboyant dance routine by the waitstaff. The ceremony also included the official handover of the “going out of business” sign to the Denny’s on Nicholasville Road, which, let’s be honest, we all hope is the next restaurant to hold a closing ceremony.

While tasteful isn’t an accurate way to describe the cuisine at Applebee’s, it was the word local diner Randy Miller used to describe the closing ceremony itself. Miller, who’s attended every restaurant closing ceremony in Lexington for the past decade, praised Applebee’s on their effort, but also said the ceremony didn’t quite stack up with some of the ones he’s seen over the years.

“I’d say Coba Cocina’s from earlier this year was probably my favorite,” Miller told us. “It was just so extravagant. I mean, when they let the water out of those jellyfish tanks it was extremely poignant. You kind of had to be there. I’ll be honest, it kind of stung a little bit knowing that was the end.”

An overachieving UK freshman looking to buy his books a few days early stopped by Kennedy’s Schoolbook Depository Wildcat Den to pick up his assigned reading for the semester. Upon entering the store, freshman Jackie Ruby approached a store employee in the ‘Super Savings 20% Off Deal-y Plaza’ for help and was immediately directed to the back and to the left according to cashier Adam Zapruder, who witnessed the entire event.

Not everyone is buying this account of the story though. Sophomore Olivia Stone said “I saw that girl ask Oswald over at the door where to find books for her HIS104 class, but those books are at the front and to the right. She went to the back and to the left. That means she must’ve asked someone else where to find the books. I think there must’ve been a second employee over by the golf apparel. I don’t know who it would’ve been though. Could’ve been Warren, he works over there sometimes. But he wouldn’t lie, he doesn’t get paid hourly… Warren works on commission.”

Unsuccessful in finding the required books, Jackie returned to her dorm and her roommate Lynda Johnston took over the textbook shopping.

Armed with nothing but corkscrews and tastevins, a rag-tag group of Sommelier pirates were able to overtake the attendees of a Talon Winery tasting event on Monday evening.

While the motives of people who attend wine tastings on Mondays are unclear, the goal of the Sommelier pirates was to gain control of the port, and other red wines.

“Hey! Look at me! I’m having the Cabernet now,” shouted one pirate as he entered the Homestead Tasting Room.

“I feared for my life,” said the leader of the wine tasting, Catherine Phillips, who traveled all the way from Philadelphia to get her Monday wine fix.

A photographer from Tops In Lex was present at the event taking photos of all the tasters in attendance, but he put his camera away once he saw that Sommelier pirates would also be there.