New Circle Circular Announces New Minor League Newspaper

By: Harold Leeder

April 1, 2022

The New Circle Circular (NCC) announced today from Alan Cutler’s yoga studio that the city of Lexington has been awarded another newspaper expansion franchise. The new minor league newspaper affiliate is majority-owned by Leeder Construction and is slated to kick off its inaugural press season in 2023.

New Circle Circular is not only announcing the new paper today, but we’re also revealing its new name and crest design, because that’s what makes it real. The Minor League Newspaper will be named The New Fircle Tircular, and its subscription service will be part of the Lexington Newspaper Club (Lexington N.C.). Its logo and webpage was designed by renowned nephew, and kid who knows computers real good, Kyle Leeder. The emblem features some vibrant green stuff with some more dark green things in the background, like a horse and stuff. “We chose green, because honestly let’s just have one thing around here that doesn’t have blue on it,” said my nephew to me in a text message. When my phone finished charging up, I replied, “Sounds good bub. -HL”.

The name was chosen with the future in mind. “Not only is this newspaper gonna hit your door every morning and drip hot goss all over your welcome mat (that has a crudely drawn outline of Kentucky and says ‘No place like home’ on it)… But unlike major fake newspapers this one is gonna make you money somehow! Because New Fircle Tircular is an NFT, because it says so right there in the name. We’ll figure out the details on how that makes money later, once I watch enough TikTok How-To videos and learn how to make a Discord,” texted Kyle a little later, which took me a while to read because my font is so big, and because I don’t know what either of those things are.

Honestly, I like our chances at success with this endeavor as surely any city that can support 4 Rally’s locations can support a major and minor league newspaper from the same family. However, this isn’t just a minor league fake newspaper. It’s a planned community experience. My wonderful nephew Kyle has a whole bunch of stuff planned, even contingencies. Kyle claims, “on days when we can’t think of stuff to write about, we’ll host some sort of fun, family-friendly, wacky marketing-based activity. Stuff like, “haggle over the price of a hotdog night”, or everyone’s favorite game, “is this a newspaper or is it cake” to keep the community engaged.”

There will be multiple subscription packages available next year, as you’ll be able to have the newspaper delivered by us via our Lexington N.C. service, or for a lot more money you can have Doordash deliver it. To subscribe to most newspapers, you have to be hounded as you walk in the door of a Kroger. Details for our subscription services are still being finalized at press time. However subscription spots are limited, so in the meantime click here to make a $25 deposit to secure your subscription for 2023.

Invest in New Fircle Tircular and get rich somehow!