There is a construction boom in Lexington this summer and one high-ranking construction worker who spoke to us on the condition of anonymity has revealed the nefarious truth. “We’re not really building anything,” said – let’s just call them Street Throat – “we’re just trying to make you late.”

“To what?” we asked. The whistleblower, who actually does use a whistle at work coincidentally, lowered his or her but most likely his voice and said, “To everything.”

The source detailed an elaborate scheme, undertaken by construction companies, private businesses, and city government departments, to start as many inconvenient construction projects as possible in order to create heavy traffic.

“It starts at the top,” said S.T., “The more you sit in traffic, the more you spend on gas, the higher gas prices go. I’m talking Speedy Rewards Points. It’s dangerous just to say their name.”

“My crew’s main jurisdiction is downtown.” Street Throat would not reveal just who or what they worked for. “And it’s really hard to create traffic jams downtown when all the college students are gone so we had to get creative. And a lot of blinking arrows.”

The whistleblower shook their head when we asked for more definitive proof. “I can’t get my hands on those documents. They’re locked up at tight at CentrePointe. But think about it. How can New Circle Road have been under construction since 1998 and not be any different or any better?”

Street Throat ran us through other areas under so-called work. “Upper Street is clear in the mornings and under construction at noon. We are actively messing with your lunch break. It’s a kickback scheme with the companies you work for. We get a paw off every UK Wildcat sold.”

The whistleblower grew more visibly nervous. “We just put those orange cone barrel things along 75 but we have done no construction and don’t plan to do any construction. When we did that it was like a serial killer just hoping to get caught.”

A stealthy bulldozer turned a corner. “I have to go,” said Street Throat. “They might be onto me.” Then they hopped the fence around the Jersey Street pit and took their fifteen-minute break.