If millennials were still on Facebook, their relationship status would have one option: it’s complicated. What can only be defined as a perpetual fear of commitment has led an entire generation into an unhealthy co-dependency on oils and pizza. Perhaps the most damning piece of evidence is the millennials’ inability to even commit to the simplest of relationships, the age-old introduction to commitment, that of bicycle and bicycle owner.
A popular app-based bike-sharing program “Sit & Spin” began their pilot program in Lexington last week. Users look at pictures of bicycles and swipe right or left depending on how interested they are in the bike. While the city’s newest public bike-sharing program offers a terrible first date idea, it also offers a maligned generation of people an easy way out of a relationship that has shaped every generation the world has known since the time under that tree where Adam and Eve ate a bunch of apples and then rode a bicycle built for two around the garden.
Our city has previously had its fair share of brightly colored, well-intended bike sharing programs. “It’s great that the city is taking a chance on bike sharing again and this time we’ve got the opportunity to pay to rent a bike now, instead of when it was free, and it didn’t work,” explained future former mayor Jim Gray. “It might be time for you to move on once you’ve witnessed a city’s second public bicycle program.”
Broomwagon Coffee + Bikes barista/bike mechanic Theo Greene explained that while bike sharing can be a good thing we should be mindful of how we treat bikes and each other. “I love living in a city with a progressive view on bikes and bike relationships. I myself am currently in a polycyclic relationship but I hope we as a community don’t use these bikes only to dump them on the side of the road when we’re done with them.”
We reached out to Senator Rand Paul for comment, and he did not reply, but if he had he would have probably said, “I’d be more on board with millennials sharing bikes if just one of them could demonstrate how a bike sharing relationship would work when you have a family of five. Children deserve a nuclear bicycle environment.”