ITT Tech Locksmith Student Thinks Locked Doors Are Just A Mid-Term Exam

By: Harold Leeder

September 7, 2016

Many ITT Tech students and faculty were shocked when they arrived at the “college” Tuesday morning, only to find it had permanently closed its doors with little notice. Despite emails being sent out yesterday morning and the writing being on the wall for months prior, some were still in denial by the news such as locksmith student Todd Rhodes, who assured everyone this had to be his mid-term exam. The aspiring future Pop-A-Lock employee feverishly worked on the sealed doors for six straight hours before being corrected and dropped one full letter grade by his now former professor for not taking a break after two hours since he’d probably be union.

While Rhodes may have been in a denial about the closing, students from the welding department felt the most duped after spending their last class welding the doors shut. “We were told it was our ‘final exam’ which we now realize should’ve been a red flag since it’s only September,” said intro welder Todd Bailey, “but when we arrived Tuesday morning, we started putting two and two together and realized, we hadn’t learned how to put two and two together yet.”

Students from the accounting department cried foul on the reason given for the “college” closing. “I don’t understand how they couldn’t obtain the proper accreditation with me and all my friends paying for all our classes with a credit card,” said first year economics major Ellen Wolfe. “It just doesn’t add up on my TI-80 calculator how they’re not making a profit. But maybe I just haven’t learned enough about business yet.”

A range of emotions were felt on campus as news of the closing traveled. Some were furious, such as Todd Mulberry who was livid since he was only one week away from finishing up his two week certificate program. Others took it all in stride such as honor roll student Todd Wang who still waited the mandatory fifteen minutes for his teacher to show up before leaving.

Many faculty members were at a loss as well. “I’ve taught here for over 30 years so I will miss it but I also know with my experience, I should have no problem finding another college or university to teach my course at,” said VCR repair professor Maxwell Oldman.