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New Circle Circular Announces New Minor League Newspaper
April 1, 2022
The New Circle Circular (NCC) announced today from Alan Cutler’s yoga studio that the city of Lexington has been awarded another newspaper expansion franchise. The […]
Several Parking Spots Somehow Still Available After Lunch
BREAKING: 2:35 PM – Lexpark officials have confirmed multiple eyewitness reports that somehow there are still parking spots downtown after lunch. Officer Don is en […]
Duchess Of Winchester and Duke Of Griffin Gate To Wed At Versailles Castle
Lexington will be hosting its own royal wedding this weekend as early tomorrow morning the Duchess of Winchester, Maggie Stroman, will be wed to the […]
Dan Cummins Staff Call Mothers One More Time To Tell Them Exactly How They Feel
The staff at Dan Cummins Chevrolet was instructed to take some time today, the day after Mother’s Day, to call their mothers “one more time” […]
Frankfort Wants Some Other City To Be Capital For A While
Frankfort was chosen as the capital of Kentucky in 1792. The first 226 years had more than their fair share of ups and downs but […]
Ringo Starr Receives Knighthood Bumping Up Sir Pizza To Second Worst Knight
Yesterday The Duke Of Cambridge (no relation to Analytica) bestowed the highest honor someone famous for not being a very good drummer can have as […]
Lexington Holds World’s 1st ‘Can’t Anyone Drive in the Rain?’ Contest
The Lexington Streets & Roads Department held the world’s first “Can’t Anyone Drive in the Rain?” contest this morning. Poor motorists from all over the […]
‘Twas the Friday Before Christmas
‘Twas the Friday before Christmas and all through the mansion no pizzas were cooking, no talk of franchise expansion, John’s apron was hung by the […]
Origin of Burning Couches for Christmas
The tradition of burning couches to celebrate the birth of Jesus, or the outcome of some kind of sports game, dates back to the very […]
Jim Gray Ashamed As City Uses Trick-Or-Treating To Train Kids To Panhandle
Former Vice Mayor Jim Gray has worked hard this past calendar year fighting a wide range of political enemies, ranging from racism to traffic problems, […]