Ballerina’s Nutcracker Experience Lands Job At JIF

By: Harold Leeder

December 20, 2017

Ballerina Harper Addison put on a show-stopping performance at the Lexington Opera House’s presentation of The Nutcracker. Now she’s hoping the skills learned for the classic holiday fantasy will transfer to a new venue: the JIF peanut butter plant.

“Sometimes you have to put your dreams on hold for a more stable career,” Addison said before she Grand Jete’d over an open vat of peanut butter. “I’m looking forward to being on my feet all day. Rather than just on the tips of my toes all day.” She wears a pair of slip resistant, OSHA approved, ballet shoes as she guides a pallet jack of unlabelled jars. “I’m comfortable working first shift, second, or fifth position.”

More senior JIF employees have been welcoming but her transition from the stage to the shop floor hasn’t been a perfect pirouette. “She kept asking where the Rat King is,” said 10 year JIF technician Seamus Ortiz. “I told her not to let management hear her say that. But we usually find him in between sorting and jarring. We just call him ‘Mr. Peanut’. Big sucker. Only got one eye.”

There were also some minor dress code violations until she insisted that her tutu and tights were not leggings and had in fact been sewn in France. The HR department eventually caved after Addison claimed they were “necessary for her continued inspiration.”

Overall though, the one time Sugar Plum Fairy has transitioned smoothly into her new role. “There is a correspondence between the factory and the ballet studio,” says Addison. “Both require practiced motions be delivered with exquisite accuracy. Though only one requires at least a GED.”