After nearly 30 years reporting on sports in Lexington, WLEX’s Alan Cutler announced he would be retiring after this upcoming Kentucky Derby. However, it doesn’t sound like Cutler will be taking any time to rest after retirement as he plans to ramp up his already profitable side hustle, selling Thirty-One bags.

“I’ve been putting out feelers around the station,” Cutler said. “I’m having my first ‘Thirty-One’ party the day after I hang it up here. With Mother’s Day creeping in on the heels of my retirement, who could say no to a perfect sales-tunity?”

“What do you mean you’ve got no use for a bag?” Cutler shouts at Lee Cruse as he walks away, having just returned the clip art-laden invite Cutler had designed and printed. “You just plan on carrying all your swim stuff in a towel, Lee? I thought you had like 8 jobs? I think you can afford to look like you didn’t borrow $4 to get into the Shillito Park Pool.”

“Claire Crouch hasn’t bought one yet but I got a soft yes from her on the invite,” Cutler concluded, ever optimistic about this new venture. “Sometimes, business can go TOO well. Tom Ackerman keeps buying every item I bring in here and he refuses to tell me why or what he is doing with them.”

“I don’t have to answer your questions,” Ackerman said when we asked what he was doing with the bags.

“Look, for 30 years I poured myself into covering sports for this town and I feel like I did a pretty good job. Now, I’m changing direction and I’m going all in on this venture,” Cutler said, tears beginning to well up in his mustache. He then held up a blue and white checkerboard tote and said, “Do I have the bag for you? Totes. Larry Vaught views this bag as a must-own.”