UK Camping Club Excited For Upcoming Tuition Hike

By: Harold Leeder

June 23, 2016

This week, the University of Kentucky announced their inevitable annual tuition hike. The 5% increase in tuition was met by displeasure and exasperation from most University students, however, a small subset of students reacted to the news with elation.

“Me and my fellow backpackers in the Camping Club are psyched,” Blossom Smith, president of the University of Kentucky’s Campus Rec Camping Club, told us. “Hiking is beautiful, getting in touch with nature is underrated in today’s social media age,” Smith said of walking around outside.

Since it appeared clear Smith didn’t really understand what “tuition hike” meant, we reached out to another unwashed student, and explained that tuition rates would be going up. “Tuition rates aren’t the only thing going up,” Moonbeam, or whatever weird name she said, told us. “On the tuition hike we’ll be headed up all sorts of places. We’ll be going down and around Red River Price Gouge (sic) and up to ‘The Pinnacles’ of Price. The great thing about the tuition hike is every time you think you’re at the peak you find out there is still more you haven’t seen yet.”

“After burning through all my extra money at Bonnaroo, I could really use the tuition credit,” Moonbeam continued, indicating she thought the simple act of her walking under the influence of mushrooms would somehow earn her a scholarship. University of Kentucky President Eli Capilouto responded by shaking his head and muttering, “This is why a tuition hike is needed. We obviously need to be able to pay for better professors.”

It became apparent from our conversations that many of the students in the Camping Club were taking full advantage of their opportunities for ‘higher’ education. “It’s a good thing they’re in the Camping Club,” University Spokesperson Tammy Fulton said. “Because next year there is no way they’ll be able to afford to live in the dorms.”