Lexington Panhandlers Now Trading Exclusively In Bitcoin

By: Harold Leeder

May 31, 2018

Technology has begun changing the financial markets across the globe and Lexington is no exception. Panhandlers across the city have officially decided to make the move to having one official form of acceptable blockchain based cryptocurrency, Bitcoin.

The initial idea of accepting new forms of donation, sparked in the panhandling community when a group settled outside The Summit at Fritz Farm was able to invest their measly six-figure panhandling salary and turn it into a respectable eight-figure salary.

“The market is too volatile and has been flooded with fly-by-night blockchain currencies that may or may not even have actual cash value. Recently a guy from first shift had a sign that said help all my money is tied up in potentially defunct ICOs.” said second shift supervisor of South Broadway Panhandling and Sign Design Cam Winklevoss. “We just want to let everyone know, when you pull up to the stoplight and see us there please have a hard drive ready pre-loaded with the amount of bitcoin you’d like to give. We have a lot of cars to get to and it makes it much more efficient when we don’t have to stop and explain to everyone that we are no longer accepting cash.”

Winklevoss also had a few words for those criticizing Lexington’s panhandlers for being too picky, “Say what you want about my panhandlers here in town, but they’re out here working rain or shine. Unless it’s raining. Then they’re not out here. We work hard and the people of this city need to accept that the times are changing and the blockchain is the future.”