Lexington Legends Consider Move To Bottom Right Corner Of The Map

By: Harold Leeder

May 7, 2018

The Lexington Legends have played at Whitaker Bank Ballpark, previously known as Applebee’s Dry Riblet Pit, since 2001, but that may change soon. Sources say the team is considering moving to a new stadium in the bottom right corner of the map.

Team bard J.R.R. Rawlings explained the complicated tale. “The Legends originally hailed from Ye Olde Kissimmee but they were exiled and had to take refuge in the Kingdom of North Broadway. Even now the Men of the Mitt hear the Hey, Batter, Batter of Destiny.”

He unrolled an ancient parchment on which was drawn a vaguely North American shaped continent with extra dragons on their margins and pointed a finger broken by too many bad catches to a blank square situated off the Atlantic coast. “The mythical Home of Plate.”

Legends coach Eddie Stark assured reporters that there is no truth to the story. “Some nerd made that up,” he said. However, cartographers have been spotted at the stadium measuring the minor league team players and drawing either dots or squares or triangles on their foreheads.

“That’s just normal, run-of-the-mill baseball game face makeup,” said Coach Stark, when confronted with word of the eyewitness reports. “Don’t read to much into that. Or try to pull that Bat from that Stone. Unless you’re the chosen one. Then we could use you on our team.”