East Coast & West Coast Kentucky Teachers Declare Truce At Summit

By: Harold Leeder

March 22, 2018

Education superstar Notorious P.T.A. of Paintsville and Paducah’s own administration tycoon TuChalk Shakur finally came together this morning in hopes of ending the East Coast-West Cost teaching rivalry that has plagued Kentucky education ever since Governor Matt Bevin first exposed teachers as thugs yesterday.

“All the kids around Kentucky are watching us on TV every day wondering what’s gonna happen next,” said famous lesson plan producer Sean ‘Pike Daddy’ Combs, “especially since they’ve had snow days all this week.”

While every county has been hoping this meeting would take place, it took the tweets of two brave educators, KRS-One-Twelve and Eazy-E-Town Principal, to get the meeting wheels in motion. Educators didn’t have to wait long as salt trucks made quick work of Fayette County roads. The Summit at Fritz Farm was chosen as neutral ground since neither coast has claimed it because despite Bevin’s statements to the contrary no teacher can afford to shop there.

The Governor suggested the two camps started their feud last year when Ms. Marion Goode-Knight, the gatekeeper of Owensboro’s Death Row Of Permanent Records, threatened to put teachers from the East Side of Kentucky “in Graves (County)” at the MTV Teacher Awards.

Emily F. Doom, a former Vice Principal from Covington, came down to help mediate the peace talks, although since she was from Northern Kentucky many weren’t receptive to her having a role in the process. “Em and them, don’t belong here. It’s about kids,” said retired Fayette County superintendent Dr. Andre Toothousand.

The Educators in attendance commented that they were relieved the peace talks finished so quickly this morning, as The Summit at Fritz Farm, like the Governor, has always had a strong anti-teacher policy.