“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me,” thought Courtesy On Wheels owner and spokesperson Dan Glass. “But it turns out, words can at least give you issues with your insulin production.”

Glass, famous for his catchphrase “SWEEET!” visited his doctor earlier this week where he was given the diagnosis. “I was told I have to cut back on the SWEEETS! and I have to take these shots.”

“I don’t know if he has diabetes or not,” said Glass’ physician Greg Condo. “I’d been in the room for three minutes and he’d shouted ‘SWEET’ like 12 times already. So I told him if he didn’t stop doing that I’d cut off his leg. He asked if it was because he had diabetes and I said ‘sure.’ Then I gave him some placebos for him to inject whenever he feels like he has to say it. Maybe if he has to associate the pain of a shot with the shouting of SWEET he’ll eventually stop doing it. I’m running out of ideas, this may be our last hope to get him to stop. I’m doing this for the good of the city.”

“I am going to follow these medication instructions very closely,” Glass said. “I know how much everyone in the city loves my catchphrase and doesn’t find it at all annoying. People are relying on me. Sure, I’m technically in the car business, but I’m really in the making people happy business. If I stop with my catchphrase, I’m no better than Paul Miller over there.”