LeGarrett Blount, Chris Long And Darryl Isaacs Celebrate Back To Back Superbowl Wins

By: Harold Leeder

February 5, 2018

Last year LeGarrett Blount and Chris Long celebrated a Super Bowl victory as members of the New England Patriots and this year they celebrated as Philadelphia Eagles, but one man was able to celebrate big wins in both years despite not playing for either team: Darryl Isaacs. For the second year in a row, Darryl, and theoretically some other unnamed Isaacs, managed to win the best Super Bowl advertisement of the night.

“If they keep this up, they’ll have to name the trophy after me,” said a champagne-soaked Darryl Isaacs as he stood on top of a bench in his law office’s locker room. “First and foremost I want to thank God, and surprisingly I’d like to thank the insurance companies. Because without them, I’d have no one left to fight.”

Last night marked the debut of Isaacs’ newest triumphant commercial, one which placed Isaacs in the setting of cable program Game of Thrones. In the commercial we see Isaacs outfitted in a beautifully ornate black bodice as he rides a dragon, which eventually spits out a firey hammer at an orc’s little finger. “This ad is really just a glimpse at my 9 book Hammer of Souls fantasy series. It’s the first part of 3 linking trilogies, where our hero Darryl battles against the dark wizard, Mesoth of Lioma,” explained Isaacs as he pointed to what he claims is a close to completion sequel, The Wizard’s Verdict. However, to the rest of us in the room, it just looked like a stack of yellow legal pads with hand drawn pictures of dragons on them.

Isaacs, who inexplicably put on some sort of sailor’s captain hat, continued with the plot synopsis, “You see, the lead character, Darryl Targaryen ‘Mother Of Draggin’ Insurance Companies To Court’, soars across the 7 Kingdoms of Lexington, finding insurance companies that never pay their debts. As we all know, the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword, but Darryl isn’t always available to handle every case. So that’s where the story branches off featuring other attorneys from my offices who happily serve the King of the North, Brian Station.”

The office’s website has been updated to embrace the 9 part series with several new links on the homepage, including one section that may be too specific, “Were you injured by a petulant boy king through no fault of your own?”

For the evening Isaacs will play the hero as he celebrates his much deserved win, and hopefully somewhere out there the commercial’s unsung hero is celebrating as well.  While he only appeared on camera for a brief moment, 75% of the commercial’s budget was inexplicably spent on the world’s greatest Keenan Thompson lookalike.