Governor Bevin Checking People’s Insurance at Kroger Blood Pressure Machine

By: Harold Leeder

January 15, 2018

The recent announcement of changes to Medicaid requirements caught many Kentucky residents off guard. Even more unexpected was what Governor Matt Bevin was seen doing at the Kroger on Tates Creek Road. Standing at the head of the line at the Kroger pharmacy, Bevin was checking insurance cards for the blood pressure machine.

“Second visit this week,” the governor said as he examined the medicaid card of local widow Betty Basquiet. “Are those hot pockets in your cart? I thought we talked about more produce last week. Back of the line.” The governor’s goons put a hand on either side of her walker and then they escorted her past the decongestants.

“We just wanna make sure that everyone here has a right to be here,” said the governor. Pointing towards the blood pressure machine, he added, “We can’t keep giving people these socialist hand outs.”

He assured the folks in line that their Kroger points could be used towards their copay. “Gift cards will still get you double fuel points but won’t count towards your deductible.”

The line stopped only twice. Once the governor headed off a single mother shopping with her three children who he spotted near the oral care aisle. He let out a sigh of relief when the family left with their toothpaste. The second time Bevin put up an “Out to Lunch” sign on the seat of the machine and then he picked apart an entire rotisserie chicken.

After lunch, Bevin was seen personally escorting a 25-year-old out the building. “But I still have one more year on my parents’ plan,” the young man argued.

Bevin shook his head. “Not on my watch. You need to start preparing for the future.”

“I am the future!” said the young man.

“Not anymore.” said the governor, as the sliding doors rolled shut. “Customers only.”