Explosive New Book Takes A Look Inside Jim Gray’s First 8 Years In Office

By: Harold Leeder

January 8, 2018

An explosive new eBook titled ’50 Shades Of Jim Gray’ is expected to be released sometime next week. The book’s author spent years sitting on a couch, observing the inner workings of the former vice mayor’s office. The book, resulting from hundreds of hours of interviews, paints a picture of a chaotic, frantic and occasionally panicky 200 East Main Street, all of this set to a soundtrack of almost exclusively Taylor Swift hits.

Gray’s office has sent the publisher several cease and desist orders but apparently Darryl Isaacs forgot to put postage on them so they were returned to sender. “Even the Hammer hits his thumb every once in a while,” said Isaacs.

An excerpt of the soon-to-be released book was sent to us anonymously by the author Michael Foxx. We’ve included it below:

Steve Kay would often demand, “I want to watch the gorilla channel.” An aide would then have to frantically search for the Magilla Gorilla cartoon VHS tape. Once the tape was in Kay would fall silent, fixated on the animated video. This would last until the end of the tape when a tantrum would erupt during the rewinding process.

The mayor’s office released a statement about the forthcoming tell-all. “This is all fake news,” said spokesman Sarah Applebee Sanders. “The mayor did not bury the confederate statues at CentrePointe. And Steve Kay isn’t important enough to have aides.”