Windy Corner Market Cook That Called In Sick Yesterday Already Tired Of Hearing About It

By: Harold Leeder

August 7, 2017

Customers and employees at Lexington’s Windy Corner Market were treated to a surprise over the weekend when Amanda Bynes’ co-star in the critically acclaimed film She’s The Man, Channing Tatum, dropped by to have some pancakes. The reasons for the visit weren’t exactly clear; all that is known is that Tatum, winner of an Oscar for his performance in She’s The Man, was on the road promoting a new film about NASCAR so he decided to stop in the Lexington eatery and give a cook a signed motorcycle. We planned to ask Mr. Tatum how this publicity move plays into his promotion for the movie but he left after our third question about what it was like to work with Amanda Bynes in She’s The Man.

“Yeah, I guess he came in here over the weekend, it’s all anyone talks about now,” said chef Matt Cooke. “I’ve called in sick once since I started here over three months ago and this is what happens. And everyone knows I missed it and they just want to keep telling me about how I missed it. I get it. You know what people who missed something don’t want to hear about? The cool stuff they missed. I heard he even walked in here and said ‘man, after those flapjacks this place is about to be the broken wind corner market’ and everyone died laughing. I’ve made that joke every time someone orders pancakes here since June and never once has anyone laughed.”

“How is it that we have so little going on here that this is front page news? Not front page of the Entertainment section or something, but A1, above the fold, front and center. Absurd. We’re all about to lose our healthcare and this is all anyone cares about,” ranted Cooke, who routinely tries to impress people by telling them about the time he saw Steve Zahn at Kroger (Zahn has, to our knowledge, never appeared alongside Amanda Bynes for those readers wondering).

If anyone has any pictures from over the weekend with Mr. Tatum or any knowledge about how we could get in contact with Ms. Bynes please leave it in the comments below.