Report: Reason For New Circle Lane Closure Was To Make You Miss Your Child’s T-Ball Game

By: Harold Leeder

May 18, 2017

In a recent effort to simply “get parents to stop supporting their children participating in sports or the arts or any other after-school activity,” the Kentucky Transportation Cabinet has decided to start randomly closing lanes on the outer loop of New Circle Road over the last month.

A statement from the Transportation Cabinet explained that usually they try and alert drivers of upcoming lane closures that they know will have dramatic impact on commuters travel times. However, over the last month or so they decided to “keep the alerts to a minimum, so that lane closures would just sort of pop up without warning, just past an exit that commuters could have gotten off on, in order to drive a different way to their destination.”

One might expect that these lane closures would be for a construction project of some kind, “I thought they were closing the lanes for repaving or fixing a guardrail or something,” said our own traffic reporter Officer Donna.

“Nope,” answered the Transportation Cabinet, “we don’t plan on improving New Circle Road in any way, we just want to frustrate commuters and fracture familial relationships by making commuters later than they already are. Hopefully we can get parents to not just be late to events like dance recitals or T-ball games, but rather miss them entirely.”