Rep. Thomas Massie In Trouble After Replying “Hell No” To Baby Shower Invitation

By: Harold Leeder

March 23, 2017

Northern Kentucky congressman Thomas Massie recently received more likes on a tweet of his vote on the American Health Care Act than we have followers. “I changed my vote from No, to Hell No, and KABLOWIE I’m a superstar.”

Since the overwhelming response to his vote, Rep. Massie has been embracing a whole new attitude, “I call it my swag, and I’m gettin it on, ZIPPACAOW. I’ll toss a H E double hockey stick just about anywhere nowadays.”

While Rep. Massie has embraced his new found fame, others in his life aren’t as thrilled. “Hey I get it, he doesn’t have to come to Braxton’s baby shower, but what I don’t need is him saying Hell No on the RSVP reply card. Also he signed it “Not On My Watch, -BINGOBANGO MASSO” explained Massie’s cousin Bethany Wilson.

“Hey man ain’t no body gonna breaka my stride, I tried a lotta keys out trying to open this door, I ain’t gonna close it now, YA DIGGIN ME PROFESSOR,” yelled the congressman.

Massie had tried several different votes out before finding the one that made him famous, “It was confusing when I’d get ballots with ‘Hell to the nizzo’ written on them,” speaker Paul Ryan said.

While Wilson appeared angry at first, after some time for reflection, she seemed willing to forgive Massie’s inappropriate reply, “Between you and me, I never wanted the guy at the baby shower anyway, I was just hoping he’d send a gift, he’s a congressman and I need a stroller.”