Lexington Residents Expecting 1-3 Inches Of Road Salt

By: Harold Leeder

January 5, 2017

All the big news stations and ABC 36 are predicting Lexington’s first major winter weather of the new year, and most experts are calling for 1-3 inches of road salt to cover the city before Friday.

“Yeah, based on what Bill Meck and Chris Bailey have been saying the past couple of days, I’d expect anywhere from 1-3 inches of salt, with a small chance to see even more than that if the truck drivers get bored,” said local storm team Yelp reviewer and Lexington resident Anthony Cipriani.

Experts are basing their predictions of 1-3 inches of road salt on several signs they look for leading up to winter weather in Kentucky, such as Kroger’s $199.99 sale on plastic snow shovels and a desolate wasteland of empty shelves where milk and bread used to be.

“As soon as you see that there’s no milk and the bread shelves are down to just English muffins and hot dog buns, you know you’re gonna be in for a lot of road salt,” said Clark County resident Georgia Rodgers. “But it really is the perfect weather to stay inside and eat some milkbread soup. Just cozy up to a fire with a big bowl of soup and watch those salt trucks roll in.”

Mrs. Rodgers also provided her own recipe for milkbread soup.

“It’s actually really easy and fun to make. You bring a pot of milk to a simmer, crumble up the bread and throw it in as a thickening agent, and then add a pinch of the road salt to taste.”