Jayden K Smith Hacks Into City’s Mainframe After Jim Gray Accepts Friend Request

By: Harold Leeder

July 10, 2017

The city of Lexington lies in peril Monday morning after the city’s entire computing mainframe was taken over by famed Facebook hacker Jayden K. Smith. Investigators have traced the point of entry to the home computer of former vice mayor Jim Gray. After Gray, who evidently doesn’t read Facebook messages he receives, accepted the hacker’s friend request it was only a matter of hours before the entire city was under Smith’s control.

“I’m the mayor, it’s my duty to stay in touch with my constituents,” Gray said. “Even if I don’t have friends in common with someone that doesn’t mean their opinion isn’t important. Plus, I loved him in The Pursuit Of Happiness and he’s a real hoot on twitter.”

The former vice mayor addressed the media this morning in a press conference. One reporter asked “Mr. Mayor do you think it was Anonymous?” “No,” Gray answered “his name was Jayden, it said it right there on the friend request.”

When asked what systems were impacted Gray responded, “I dunno what we keep on the mainframe, is that the cloud? Regardless, I just hope I don’t have to redo my Amazon wish list or sync my iTunes library again. That always takes forever.”

The former vice mayor did point out that this was the first cyber attack that has hit the city while Gray has been in office, “We haven’t had any issues with hackers under my watch, we did have a close call with Steve Kay thought Pirate Bay was ‘some sort of really cool waterpark’ though.”