Ark Encounter Completes Successful Circumnavigation Of Kentucky’s Tax Laws

By: Harold Leeder

September 11, 2017

Thanks to a recent state tax rebate of $1.8 million, Williamstown’s much-maligned Ark Encounter has officially become the first religious vessel to successfully circumnavigate Kentucky’s tax laws.

Ark Encounter captain Ken Ham may not consider he and his crew to be gruff, seasoned seamen, but the speed and consistency with which he was able to maneuver around the state’s complicated tax laws has nautical historians and H&R Block accountants alike at a loss for words.

“I’m at a loss for words,” said H&R Block accountant and coincidentally nautical historian Andy Douglas. “In just one year’s time the Ark Encounter has been able to go from an embarrassing eye sore for the state of Kentucky to an embarrassing eye sore for the state of Kentucky with a $1.8 million rebate.”

Despite the high praise from Andy Douglas and literally no one else, Ham remains humble.

“Circumnavigation is a touchy subject for a lot of people, but it’s in the Old Testament,” said Ham, thinking instead about circumcision. “God even told Abraham to circumnavigate himself.”

“When it rains it pours, and when God tells you it’s gonna flood you grab an umbrella,” Ham paused a moment before finishing his thought by loudly coughing out the word, “corporation.”

“We knew these waters weren’t going to easy,” Ham said, referring to the tax codes as water for some reason. “So we rigged her up with a $10 sail and we set a course. It was hard to resist the siren’s song of being a decent member of the community and realizing all the breaks we’d already gotten and not trying to push our luck but we resisted that call and pushed forward.”